Episode 18 Show Notes 

How To Have A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent

Setting up the meeting

• Don't allow the "ambush meeting"
• Time of day
• Location (your office)
• Length max 30 minutes
• Scheduled time for yourself after 

Preparing for the meeting

• Gather information (talk to teacher, get copy of discipline referral)
• Seating logistics (face the clock)  not behind desk if possible 
• Be prepared for snowplow and helicopter
• Don’t argue with difficult people. You will NOT win. They are VERY GOOD at arguing.

Mindset Shift

• Optimism (this is going to be a good meeting)
• Remember the Child in the Chair (Heidi Hayes Jacobs)
• If you don’t have the confidence reach for the courage 
• Jedi mind tricks (Think about specific things that will happen after the meeting)
• Put on your "armor".  Let words bounce off of you
• Reduce Anxiety (Mindfulness practice)

Beginning

• Big smile, firm handshake
• Very brief small talk
• Let them go first if they called the meeting (17 minutes, record)

• Don't interrupt

• REMAIN CALM, REMAIN CALM, REMAIN CALM
• Calm, confident, professional
• Jot notes

• Active listening body language

• NOT listening with the intent to respond 
• Don't take it personally, speaking from fear and anxiety

Sidebar 

• Know when to cut it off (verbally abusive)
• Stand up open door
• Talk over parent on phone, hanging up and happy to reschedule 
• Give your board chair a heads up

Middle 

• You respond
• First of all…
• Validate their concerns (90% of the time parents want to be heard and validated)
• Find things you can agree with 
• Empathy: “I am so sorry that happened”
• Emphasize “WE”
• Focus on behaviors, not opinions
• Stick to facts (Only what is observable)
• Check for understanding (“So, what I am hearing you say is….”
• Don't be defensive (Don’t over-explain)
• Regulate your mood (What’s going on on the inside is not going to show)
• Apologize (If you or the school messed up, own it, apologize and say that we will make it better)
• Don't make promises you can't keep
• Summary: Discuss the past without dwelling on it. Focus forward with 1-2 clear and actionable steps

End

• Whenever possible, offer more than one solution so that the parent has some agency
• Next steps
• Wrapping it up (words “Well, I want to be respectful of everyone’s time” body language “close your notebook, put down your pen, etc.)
• Your administrative assistant's role

Post meeting

• Schedule next steps (remember that you scheduled post meeting time for yourself)
• Trust is built by keeping your promises 
• Summary email to parent
• Follow up with all affected employees

Call to Action

• Let the parent go first and never interrupt

CLICK HERE to Listen to Episode 2: "The Top 5 Ways To Build Effective Relationships With Difficult Parents". Two parts of this episode will be especially helpful: the part about "Why So Emotional?" and the part about "The Wall Of Mutual Distrust".

If you implement any of these strategies at your school, I would love to hear from you! Send me a quick note at [email protected] and tell me about it. I can answer your questions and I’m also good at giving pep talks when you get stuck!

CLICK HERE for a bunch of free resources, including Plug & Play PD's (video webinars with guided notes) for you to use with your teachers, Top Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books, TED Talks and much more!

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Music by Twisterium from Pixabay