Episode 105 Show Notes

Episode 105: The 4 Types Of Problems That You DON'T Have To Solve

Episode 105 Show Notes

CLICK HERE for Episode 75: Stop Inviting Parents Into Your Home After 7:00PM

Big Takeaways:

The 4 Types Of Problems That You DON'T Have To Solve

Proximity Problems
Crying Baby Problems
Guardrail Problems
PM Problems

Call to Action

Listen to Episode 75
CLICK HERE for Episode 75: Stop Inviting Parents Into Your Home After 7:00PM

Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.

Are you feeling tired, discouraged and overwhelmed?

Do you ever feel like the pace that you keep is not sustainable?

Does the school tend to invade your weeknights and your weekends?

Do you feel like work-life balance is a myth?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I want you to check out THRIVE Academy.

THRIVE Academy is an online course with 39 lessons, over 9 hours of video content, and an 86 page workbook with guided notes, reflection questions, calls to action and more AND you get live office hours on Zoom for the first 6 weeks.

CLICK HERE to learn more about THRIVE Academy!

I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.

George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. CLICK HERE to grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School”.

Do you have any difficult teachers at your school? Of course you do. We ALL do!

They take up a lot of our time and emotional energy.

Well, I have created a new resource to help you with your difficult teachers.

It is called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers.

These strategies will give you a step by step game plan to help improve the performance and attitude of your difficult teachers.

Sound good to you? CLICK HERE to grab this free guide!

I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! CLICK HERE to get the guide!!

I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. CLICK HERE to get the guide!

I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. CLICK HERE to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!

I’ve created another FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can CLICK HERE to get “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. Thanks!

If you implement any of these strategies at your school, I would love to hear from you! Send me a quick note at [email protected] and tell me about it. I can answer your questions and I’m also good at giving pep talks when you get stuck!

If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I would love to take my experience and help you to feel less overwhelmed and frustrated or help you have success if you are a brand new leader. I also work with private school leaders who are aspiring Heads of School and want to accelerate their leadership growth or experienced leaders that are moving on to a new school and they want to get off to a great start. If I’m describing you, then CLICK HERE to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.

CLICK HERE for a bunch of free resources, including Plug & Play PD's (video webinars with guided notes) for you to use with your teachers, Top Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books, TED Talks and much more!

Please follow, rate and review this podcast. The rating helps this podcast to be heard by more leaders and your review gives me valuable feedback so that I can better serve you in future episodes. If you got value from this episode, please text the link to an aspiring leader at your school. Thanks!

Music by Twisterium from Pixabay

TRANSCRIPT:

Welcome to the private school Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the private school leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Menkuse. So I want to ask if this has ever happened to you. I'm going to give you a couple of scenarios and just see if this has ever happened to you. As a private school leader, • • you don't want to go to the basketball game because that parent • is probably going to come over and sit down next to you and start talking about a problem right there on the bleachers. • • All right, that's scenario one. Scenario two, • • you're at the grocery store, but your head is on a swivel up and down each aisle because • • • there are parents, obviously, in the community where you live, that also attend the school, and you're just trying to get your grocery list completed and not get into a conversation • or have to solve another problem for another person. • • • Or scenario three, • • • • you're in your office, • • and you pause before you walk out of your office • • • because you know that when you go out and about in the school, • • that everyone's going to need you and people are going to give you a bunch of problems to solve. • • • So if any of those three scenarios, or, uh, most likely all three of those scenarios have ever happened to you, just want to say that that's very, very normal for us to feel that way as we lead. At our schools, we have a bias towards action. • • We have a bias towards solving problems quickly and efficiently. • But I want to impress on you today that you don't have to solve every problem. • • • And on today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, we are going to discuss the four types of problems that you don't have to solve. • • •

So before we get into today's topic, I'm really excited to share with you a brand new resource. • And I want to give this to you as a free gift to say thank you for listening to the podcast. And it's called the seven secrets to improving teacher morale. • • And as private school leaders, we're always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it's hard to know where to start. • • Well, now you have a step by step plan, and you can grab [email protected]. morale. Again, that's the seven secrets to improving teacher morale. Free for you. [email protected]. • • morale. So grab that guide and get busy. We know that we really, really want to improve morale at our schools, but it's just so hard to know what to do. Theprivateschooleer.com morale will get you started, • • and at our schools, we're talking about solving problems.

You know, we solve problems every single day. But I'm wondering, what problem can I help you solve today? • • • Are you overwhelmed? • • Are you constantly having school invade your home life? • Are your days ruled by the tyranny of the urgent? • Is your problem that you have relentless parents • or • • a, uh, troublesome, problematic, difficult board? • • Maybe your problem is, is you're not sure • how to take your leadership and your career to the next level. Or maybe you're dealing with imposter syndrome. Or maybe you're dealing with feeling guilty that your family gets what's left of you at the end of the day. • • • • • • Well, I can help you solve those problems. I can help you solve your problem. • • And I wanted to let you know that right now I do have one coaching spot open, • and I'd love to work with you one on one. I'd love to hear more about • • helping you solve your biggest problem. • • And you can just head over to theprivateschoolleader.com coaching to learn more theprivateschoolleader.com • • • coaching and I'd love to hear more about your biggest problem right now. • •

So, today we're talking about the four types of problems that you don't have to solve. So let me give you these four, and they're going to sound a little weird, but I will explain each of them. • • I'll describe the problem. • I'll tell you why it's problematic for you to solve this particular problem, and then I'll give you a couple strategies so that you can not solve these specific problems. So let's go. The four types of problems that you don't have to solve. Number one, proximity problems. Number two, crying baby problems. Number three, guardrail problems. And number 04:00 p.m. m problems. • Okay, I know those sound weird, but I'll, um, • make sure that you understand and they all make sense to you as we go through each one. Okay, number one • • is proximity problems. • Okay, so this can be divided into two categories. And one is, um, when teachers • • • give you a proximity problem, • • or when a parent gives you a proximity problem. Okay, you know that the word proximity means to be close to something. And a proximity problem is that when you're walking down the hall and a teacher sees you and they're like, oh, hey, um, while you're here. And then they tell you some problem. • • • Now, they never would have sent you an email. • • They never would have buzzed you or texted you • or, you know, made an appointment to meet with you, • • to talk to you about this problem or to give you this problem. • • • That's why it's called a proximity problem. It's because you happen to be proximately close. You happen to be walking by and they're like, oh, yeah. • • And there you are. And so they start talking to you, okay? And then the parent proximity problem • • • • kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier in the episode about • you're at the basketball game or the soccer game or the holiday concert or the grocery store, and a parent sees you and is like, oh, hey, while you're here. And then they start with the problem. So that's what a proximity problem is. • • • • Let me tell you why • • • • • you don't have to solve it and why I. This is problematic, okay? A proximity problem. • • • • • • The teacher is defining • • the urgency for you. • Let me explain what I mean by that. This is not a very important or urgent issue because if it was, • • it wouldn't be a proximity problem. • • • • You already know that this is not important. Maybe it feels urgent to that person. And here's the thing, okay? I get it, that occasionally you happen to be walking by a classroom, right at a moment when something is erupting in that classroom, there's a discipline issue. Or, you know, so in very small. In a very small percentage of cases, • • • when you are walking by • • • and they're like, oh, hey, while you're here, that it actually is urgent and important. But let's face it, we've all experienced that when we're walking around campus and someone's like, oh, while you're here. • • • So • • they're defining that it's not that important because the only reason it's a problem that they want to hand off to you is because they saw you. • • And so it's sorting itself. • • • • • And here's the other thing. Your plate is already full. And here's the other thing. You're probably going to forget about this before you get back to your office anyways, unless you have a good system for capturing that problem that you hear about on the playground or on the, um, you know, up in the gym or in the hallway. • • • Now, here's the other thing. And the reason that this proximity problem is troublesome, problematic with when it comes to a parent, • • • • okay? It's not the time or the place • • • • almost all of the time. It is not the time or the place when you're on campus. • • And I'm going to explain this from the parent viewpoint, • • • • • and I'm going to break it into two parts. Campus, on campus, off campus. Okay, so you're on campus, you're at the holiday concert, you're at the basketball game, sitting in the bleachers. The parent comes over. It's not the time or the place. • • • • • Um, • and we'll get into, um, the strategy in a moment as far as how to handle this. • • But if you're off campus, I want you to start thinking about it as an invasion of privacy. • • • And I know that we all think that we're public property because that's kind of how we put ourselves out there. And we are the face of the school in many cases. • • • But if you're off campus and a parent wants to monopolize your time • at a farmer's market or at, um, an event • in the community or at the grocery store, • • • • • we need to shut that down. • • And I'll give you a kind and polite way to do that in a moment. And then the third issue with parent proximity problem is that you're probably going to forget, • • • because out and about • on campus or out and about in the community, • • • • and they give you this problem. Unless you have a really good way of capturing that, you're probably going to forget, and then it's going to be even worse. • • •

So I've identified this proximity problem. I've told you why • • it's a problem that you don't have to solve. • • • • • • • And now I'm going to tell you a couple of strategies • • for • not just jumping in and solving the problem. Remember, I said at the beginning of the episode, we have a bias towards action. We have a bias towards solving problems. We like to jump in. We feel good when we solve a problem. But here's the thing. We're walking around campus, we're walking around the community, and everybody is just like, oh, well, while you're here. And then they're just coming out at us with the problem, problem after problem after problem. And if we own all of those, • we're never going to get to our own work. Your plate is already full. So what are the strategies? Okay, first of all, if a teacher stops me in the hallway, I'll just talk about what I do. Teacher stops me in the hallway, I'll say, you know what? • • I'm, um. I need you to. • I don't want to forget. • I'm on my way to such and such, which is true. You're always on your way somewhere. Um. Can you just put that in an email • for me? Um. I don't want to forget. • • And then what happens is it kind of weeds out the urgency and importance even further. • • Because it might be something that isn't that important. And then they don't follow through. • • Um, and I'm not doing that with the hopes that they won't follow through. But I'm putting the responsibility of making sure that that lands in my email inbox. At a time when I can do something about it. During my scheduled email time. Instead of hoping that I remember it. Between where I am and getting back to my office and writing it down or whatever is the inconsistent • • way of doing it. That just doesn't work. • • And to just kind of make this point, I want to tell you what I do with students. • • So at my school, • • and this is probably true with you, too. Especially with, um, • • kids that are tweens and teens, they walk up and they say, mister, uh, Minkus, we should start a kickball league. Or Mister Minkus, we should, • • • um, fill in the blank. Um. • • And so • • • • what I do and what I've done for years. • • • And it's kind of become a thing that • they already know what I'm going to say when I say it. I say, start a Google Doc. Okay? • • And so here's what I mean by that. So let's say a 6th grader walks up to me and is like, hey, mister Minkus, we should start a kickball league. Okay, now, that kid just handed off this idea. • • And I don't want to equate ideas with problems, but I'm just making a point here. When I say, start a Google Doc, I tell them. I say, well, hey, do your research. Find out, um, do other schools in our area have a kickball league? Who are we going to play? • Um, is there someone here on staff or one of the parents that would be interested in coaching? Do you have refs? Like, where would we play? You know, are those fields available? • • Um, • you know, would we get uniforms? Would we just buy t shirts? Like, um, you know, start a Google Doc? Do your research. And then if they do that and they share it with me. Then I already know that this kid is pretty serious about it. And they've also got the ball rolling on this thing for me to decide whether it's a thing I want to do or nothing. • • • • And for example, • • um, • probably about eight years ago one day, I think it was a 6th grader walked up to me and said, hey, mister Minkus, we should have an ultimate frisbee team. • • And I'm like, okay, start a Google Doc. • • And he did, • • and he did a great job with that Google Doc. And we have had an ultimate frisbee team for the last seven years. • So, • • • um, it's, it's a way to kind of weed out, • • um, put it back a little bit on the person to do part of it. We'll get into that a little bit more too, with the crying baby problem. • • So put it in an email when I say to the teacher. And then here's the thing • • also, I really try not to make promises in that moment. • • Don't make promises. Um, you know, you could promise and say, hey, if you put that in an email, I will check it out and I'll get back to you. That's fine. • • But when they're handing you a problem, when they're identifying a problem in that proximity moment, that they probably wouldn't have reached out otherwise if you just hadn't, by the luck of the draw, just been there in that moment, • • • • don't make promises about, well, I'll take care of that. Definitely. I'll handle that. Because you're probably going to forget before you get back to your office. And again, you're feeding the beast because what you're validating is to all of your staff that if you're out and about in the school, • • if they give you a problem • in the moment, you're going to follow through on it. • •

And it's really hard to stop and pause and think before we just do. • • And so these proximity problems, um, I'm just trying to get you to think before you just say, yeah, sure. • • • And then finally, with proximity problems with the parents, again, don't feed the beast • • • when they come over and they sit down. • • • • I think it's rare when you should talk about it. Then • • at the concert, at the basketball game, on the soccer field, • • um, at the parent association event, • • • maybe it's a very timely thing. Maybe you can step away and get some privacy and talk about it then, if it's really important and urgent. But here's what I do. • • I say, you know what? I really want to give this issue the focused attention that it deserves. • • • And now isn't a great time because I'm here and I'm trying to mingle and have my attention • • on whatever the event or activity is. • • • • Um, I really want to give this issue the focused attention that it deserves. Um, just email my, • • um, • • fill in the blank admin, assistant, receptionist, whatever. • • • • Registrar, um, • • • whatever. Um, the title is at your school email. Um, so and so. And they'll, uh, set something up, • • • • • • and then you have that conversation, • • • and then the parent will either follow through or they won't. Most of the time they will. But then, • • you know, you don't have to • • have these conversations that should take place in your office • • • • when there's basketballs flying around or soccer balls or, • you know, people bumping into you because they're trying to get to their seat for the holiday concert. • But we do that all the time, and I just want you to pause. •

All right, we're on to number two. Number two, I've called crying baby problems. You don't have to solve crying baby problems. And this is a slightly different take on proximity problems. So I want you to imagine that you leave your office • • and you're walking around through your school, • • • • • • • and different people • • • • are handing you crying babies. • You walk through the office, • • the administrative assistant hands you a crying baby. You go past the security desk. Security • officer hands you a crying baby. You walk down the hallway, a teacher hands you a crying baby. • And, um, someone on the kitchen staff hands you another crying baby. Now, you're holding four. • • And then you, um, • • • get one more crying baby handed to you by, let's say, a third grade teacher. Okay? Now you've got five crying babies that you're holding. Now, those crying babies are problems that people are giving to you. Okay? But here's what I want you to ask yourself. • • • • • • Is the person handing you this crying baby because they've tried everything possible to get the baby to stop crying, • • • • or are they handing you a crying baby because they just don't want to hold a crying baby anymore? • • • • • • • • I really want you to start thinking about that and to stop just • taking on another baby and another crying baby and another crying baby. Because, • • • • yes, some of them, they have tried everything, • • • • but I think that we have become so good at solving problems that in some cases, we're feeding the beast • and that, uh, we are enabling our • • team to hand us crying babies instead of empowering them to do a little bit better job figuring out how to get that baby to stop crying themselves. • • • • • • So what's. What's problematic about • the crying baby problem? Well, • you're holding a lot of crying babies. That sounds problematic to me. You do much too much already. • • We have this bias towards action. We just reach out. We don't even think about it. We're just holding as many babies as possible. We get back to our office, we put them down, and we try to get them all soothed. And • • • • you get it right. • • • • • Um, I think that sometimes our teams are taking advantage of us subconsciously. I don't think the most of them are doing it on purpose. Maybe a couple, but I think they're taking advantage of you being a helper. • • • You're a helper. You serve your servant leader. You want to serve, but you don't have to solve every problem in your school. • • • • • And I think, like, I'll say it one more time, I think we're sometimes enabling them, • • instead of empowering them • to get better at learning how to soothe a crying baby. • • • So what's the strategy for the crying baby problems? Number one is just to pause. • Again, • • we don't pause and pause. • We just do, • because the shortest distance between • • point a and point b in our day is to just do the thing • • • and we don't pause, and we need to pause. • • • And then I would strongly recommend that you push back by asking this question. • • • As they're trying to hand you the crying baby, you say, what have you tried? • • • • • And you don't have to ask it in a, um, you know, in a way that is, is, um, you know, mean or, or, um, • • you know, judgmental or, • • um, you know, sending off any kind of negative vibes, like, what have you tried? I'm not saying that you're asking in a way of sincere wanting to know, because if they're going to hand you this crying baby, • you want to know the information about what they've already tried, because you don't want to try those same things. • • • • • • • What have you tried? • • Okay, • and in that moment. • • • • So let's say that they say, well, I blah, blah, blah. And in the moment, you know, if they've. If they've shared the problem very briefly, which they are sharing it as they're handing you the baby, the crying baby, okay, in the moment, most of the time, because you're really good at solving problems, most of the time, something will come to you. And before you take that crying baby. • • • So you've already said, what have you tried? • • • • • Well, • • • uh, you're gonna immediately. Something will come to you and you say, well, why don't you try blank and see if that solves it? • • • • • • • • Okay? And then you just pause. It might be an awkward silence, and they're probably gonna be like, okay, all right, I'll give that a try. Or they might push back and say, well, I already tried that. And here's the thing. You're not going to walk around the school and have nobody hand you a crying baby. But what if you walked around the campus, popped into classrooms, and get back to your office, and you only had two crying babies in your arms instead of eleven, • • • • wouldn't that make • • a, um, tremendous difference in your day, in your weeknights, in your weekends? • • So I'm not trying to pretend that you can go through school and not get any problems. • • • I'm trying to get you to cut back • • and empower your team to get better • • at doing a little more to try to solve that problem themselves before they just • • use you as the dependable leader of the school • • • and hand you all those crying babies. And I get it. It's hard. It's hard to thread that needle because you take pride in being a problem solver and you like helping people. But I think that we are past capacity as private school leaders and this is a way to get a tiny, tiny little bit of margin by pushing back, saying, what have you tried • • in that moment? Something will come to you and you can say, well, why don't you try blank and see if that solves it. • • • • • Try to come back to your office after a walk around campus with two crying babies instead of eleven. • • • • Okay?

So we're talking about how you don't have to solve every problem. • • • • And we've talked about, number one, proximity problems. Number two, crying baby problems. And now number three is called guardrail problems. So let me describe what I mean. I want you to think about two different roads. I want you to think about a windy two lane country road that has kind of a small shoulder, not really enough room to pull a whole car off of, but you know, maybe the car is kind of two wheels on the shoulder and two wheels in the gravel or the grass. • Okay, you got that in your head? Now I want you to compare that to a six lane superhighway. • • Three lanes each direction, concrete jersey barrier in the m middle, gigantic shoulders. There's a shoulder between the Jersey barrier and the, uh, passing lane. And there's a giant shoulder, • • and sometimes they're so big it says park behind the line and there's trucks and things parked over there. So a tiny shoulder on either side of the road, two lane country windy road, or • • • • • • • the six lane super highway with the huge shoulder and then the guardrail. Okay? So I'm talking about guardrail problems • • and really what this is about is staying in your lane as a private school leader. But I really don't like that, um, statement. I think that stay in your lane has taken on a very negative connotation. I want you to stay between your guardrails, okay? • • And I think that most private school leaders • • that your guardrails • are the similar, are similar. To the six lane superhighway, where there's a huge shoulder and then a Jersey barrier or guardrail, and then there's a huge shoulder on the right hand side and then the guardrail, • • • • when really what we should be is that two lane country road that has a small shoulder. • • • Because many of the problems at school don't need to be solved by you, because they can be very capably solved by someone else. • • I'll say that again. Many of the problems at your school don't need to be solved by you because they can very capably be solved by someone else. • • • And I know that some of you that are listening are a one person show, a one man show, a one woman show. I get it. • • • But I'm telling you, • • • every school has a team, and the big schools have a leadership team. The smaller schools have, um, maybe no team, maybe a part time person in the office, • and, um, they're just trying to get by. • • • • But no matter the size of your team, there are capable people • on your campus that can solve some of these problems.

So let's talk about • staying in your lane, or rather staying between your guardrails, whichever you prefer. • • • Why does that happen sometimes? Well, I think it comes from looking too closely at other people's responsibilities, • • • and that can lead to micromanaging. And sometimes we micromanage more when we're stressed and because it's familiar. And so let me give you an example that I've given before on the podcast. So, let's say that there's a guy that is in charge of the produce department at the grocery store. He's done that for seven years. A really great job. And then • • the store manager position comes open, and he applies, and he is hired as store manager. But nobody ever trains him how to be a leader. • • And so this is uncomfortable because he did a great job in the produce department. But now he's got everything. He's got frozen foods, and he's got the bakery and the meat department, and, you know, everything. • • Well, when this guy is stressed out and when he is feeling kind of like, mmm, um, • • I'm not really sure what I'm doing, • • • • who's he gonna micromanage? He's not micromanaging the butcher. He's not micromanaging in the. In the bakery or the deli. He's micromanaging the people in the produce department and making them nuts. • • • Well, • • most school leaders • • came up through as teachers. • • And sometimes when we get stressed out and because of a comfort level and because of imposter syndrome, sometimes we micromanage the way that our teachers are teaching. • • So, again, • • staying within the guardrails. Let's not go looking for problems that aren't there. • Looking too closely. Micromanaging. • We are unintentionally showing a lack of confidence in others • when we micromanage them or when we solve their problems or when we ask too many questions. Why are you doing it that way? Do you really care? This is, um. I'm serious. Do you really care how they're doing it? If they get it done and they get it done, well, • that's something that we've got to get over ourselves when it comes to being a private school leader. If we want to have any • • chance of having a smidge of margin in our lives, is • • we got to let go on how people are doing things if they're getting good results. • • • • You already have too many things to do, and where this is headed is burnout and also letting things slip off your plate and then feeling bad afterwards. And so you don't need • to have • your lane or your guardrails be the superhighway and be all of this gigantic stuff. Try to keep it narrow. Try to keep it narrow. And so what's the strategy to kind of catch yourself when you're drifting • • over and over and over into that area with finance or fundraising or the spring musical or the middle school dance or the, um, • • you know, the • • table decorations for the first grade event? Okay, • • • • I know, again, small schools, you're going to be involved with a lot more, but you just need to take what I'm saying and apply it, • prorate it, so to speak, to the size of your school, and just ask yourself, is there area for improvement here? • • The first strategy, again, just pause and then ask yourself, • • • is this problem within my guardrails? • • • • • So when you're starting to get involved with a problem, • • • uh, just pause and ask yourself in your head, is this problem within my guardrails? Yes or no? If the answer is yes, go for it. If the answer is no, • • • don't go for it. • • • Don't look too closely. You don't need to know every detail of every single situation. • • And I think that's true even with smaller schools. • • • But you have people who are doing a good job. • • • And if it's a large school, you've got division heads. If it's a smaller school, you've got your teachers and maybe a lead teacher. • • Don't look too closely. You don't need to know every detail of every single situation. And I know some of you think you do, • • • • and I'm probably not going to convince you that you don't. But just pause, trust others, empower others, • • and try to optimize your team. And the way you can do that is by keeping those shoulders kind of narrow • and keeping your guardrails close to your lane. Instead of wandering all the way over there and all the way over there and having your hand in everything, • • • • try to keep it tighter • • and stay within those guardrails.

And then that brings us to the final problem that you don't have to solve. And that's called PM m problems. And what I mean is PM on the clock, as in • • emails that describe a problem that hit your inbox after 06:00 p.m. • • • • and some of you • • • • • don't know about that problem until the next morning because you're not checking your email manically every few minutes or a couple times an hour after 06:00 p.m. • • • • but most of you are dipping. Most of us are dipping in and out of our emails because • • • • • • I don't want that waiting for me in the morning • • or • • I need to get back to them right away or someone might need me. • • Okay. • • • • Okay. • • Um, • • I hear that, • • but let me push back on that. • • Um, • • • • PM problems, something in your inbox after 06:00 p.m. • • • i'm going to push back and say, you don't need to know about that • • until the next morning • • • • • • because • it's going to ruin your evening and you already put in a really, really long, hard day. • • It's going to ruin your evening. Okay. It is going to negatively impact your stress level. It is going to negatively impact your relationships at home and how present you are with the people that you share a home with. • • • • • And I'm going to, • • um, link in the show [email protected]. episode 105 the show notes I'm going to link episode 75 and it's called stop inviting parents into your home after 07:00 p.m. • • • • and I ask you to imagine, you know, you're on the couch watching Netflix with your spouse partner, um, • daughter, whoever, • just watching a show. • And then, um, you go to the front door, someone knocks and, uh, it's that parenthood at your front door. You say, come on in, have a seat right there between you and your spouse, you and your partner on the couch. • • Or even worse, you're in bed and they're sitting at the foot of the bed just kind of awkwardly looking at you. And I know that probably just triggered you, but here's the thing. You're inviting parents into your home after 06:00 p.m. after 07:00 p.m. almost every night • • • when you're checking email, • • • and I know what you're saying, it's like, well, I need to know. And do you? I mean, • • • • • • • • • • is the weight of. I don't want that waiting for me in the morning • • • • • • so much stronger than • • • what it's doing to you in the evening? • • • • • And for some people, listen, I get it. They literally, whether it's anxiety or whether it's a need to know, or whether it's a fear of missing out or it's going to take time. And so here's what I would suggest. • • This isn't going to work if we treat it like trying to make a change is not going to work if we treat it like a new year's resolution, • or we treat it like trying to quit smoking, going cold turkey because it's too big of a change. • So let's do some small changes and I'm going to read a list of some changes that you can do • • and then maybe you could just do one of them. Or try it one night a week. You know, • • just try it once. Try it on a Tuesday night and see • • what it feels like to be present at home. And then • • • it's kind of crappy in the morning to have that waiting for you. But at least you're showered and in your work clothes and in your principal mode at school. • • • Try it. Just one night. Try it. • So here's some strategies. Turn off work email notifications • • • • if I could shake everyone that has ever listened to this podcast and get them to do one thing, the first thing I would ask them to do is to turn off work email notifications on your device or on your smartwatch. • • • Um, don't check email after 06:00 p.m. or 07:00 p.m. again, I know that for some of you, you're just freaking out just hearing that. Just try it. Maybe try it after not checking it after 08:00 p.m. • • i have coaching clients • • who are checking email • • from the time they leave school until the time they're in bed, • • at least every 30 minutes, sometimes every 15 minutes. And they're seeing all of those emails with the capital letters and the exclamation points. And I'm telling you, it's ruining their evenings. It's affecting their relationships with their loved ones. • • • And • there is a better way. Okay. • • • • Um, if it is something truly important, • • someone will call you or text you. You're going to hear about it. Okay? If it's an emergency, • • there's someone on the board or the pastor. If you're a church, school, or, • • um, a parent who is friends with your • • child, you know their child is friends with your kid, and so you know them that way. You're. Trust me, you're going to hear about it if it's very, very important. • • • • • • I also encourage my coaching clients, and I've encouraged you here on this podcast before, to create more friction between you and your email inbox. • • • You know, hover over the logo, the chrome logo, or whatever you use. If it's safari or Firefox or whatever it is you use, you hover over that. At the bottom of your laptop screen, a little box will pop up. It'll say, open new window. You can open a window, • • put your email in there, • • and then close the email tab on the screen that you have open all day long. And it will. • • • The number of times you check email in a day will plummet. • • • And • • I have several coaching clients who this next strategy is to move the. When you press the, • • um, button on your phone, • • when your phone lights up, • • how many swipes does it take to get to your email • • work? Email icon. • • • • Okay, most people, it's zero swipes. And then almost everyone else, it's one swipe • • • • if you move it so that it's two swipes. I have coaching clients who say that in less than two weeks that they check their email probably 70% to 80% less often in the evening, you're creating a little bit of friction between you and your email inbox. • • • • • • And then finally ask yourself, is checking email more important than my mental health? • • • • 08:00 p.m. you're at home, • • • • you're with your family. Is checking email more important than my mental health? And then ask yourself, • • • is checking email more important than the people that live here? • • • • • • I think we know the answer to that. But I want to recognize that it takes baby steps to get from where you are to where you want to be. • • • • And so I've given you some baby steps, • • • • • and I would just encourage you for your own good, for your own mental health and physical health, and for the loved ones that you care about and those quality of those relationships that you would try • • something • • • to. Try not to check that email • • • • constantly during the evening. • • •

All right, • • big takeaways from today's episode. The four types of problems you don't have to solve. Number one, proximity problems. • • Number two, crying baby problems. Number three, guardrail problems. And number 04:00 • p.m. problems. • • And your call to action is to listen to episode 75. It's called stop inviting parents into your home after 07:00 p.m. i'll link it in the show [email protected] episode 105 • • and again, I wanted to remind you about the new resource that I've created for you. It's called the seven secrets to improving teacher morale. I want to give this to you as a free gift, just to say thank you for listening to the podcast and also to help you to improve teacher morale at your school. Sometimes we just don't know where to start. And now I'm going to give you a step by step plan. • • • • Seven is a lot. It's going to be hard work. But I strongly believe that if you follow • • • • these steps, uh, follow these secrets, • • that the morale at your school will improve. And you can grab that for free over at theprivateschool leader.com morale. That's a free guide, the seven secrets to improving teacher morale, • • free for you. [email protected] morale and then one last reminder that I do have one open coaching spot right now, and I'd love for it to be you and just head on over to the private school year.com coaching • and check it out there • • wherever you listen to the podcast. If you would review and rate the podcast • that helps the algorithm push this out as suggested content to leaders all over the world. • • Um, I think we're in 61 countries right now, and this is, um, a big help, um, to be able to get that out there. And then the other favor I would ask of you is, if you've gotten value from the podcast, please just share the link with another leader in your life, whether they're at your school or someone you met at a conference or whatever. Just get the word out. • • But share the link with an aspiring leader at your school. We need to raise up the next generation of leaders at our school, and you have a good eye for those aspiring leaders. • • Share the link with them. • • So I've been your host, Mark Minkus. I appreciate you so much, all of your hard work, and I really appreciate you taking some time to join me here today. • And I'll see you next time right here on the private school leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.